“I’m still trying to determine whether or not I deserve this position.”
A family enterprise client recently said to me, “I’m still trying to determine whether or not I deserve this position.”
She’s part of the third generation of a family business where she serves as President/CEO. She recently moved into this position after more than a decade of being a sought-after consultant, running small and large divisions of the company, years of extensive training, and jumping through a number of hoops set out by her professional board of directors.
Her thought, “I don’t know if I deserve this,” is common among successful leaders and business owners. Even more so when you add family business to the mix.
Initially, this thought may sound humble or modest, but it’s actually a very poisonous thought for any leader. This thought is typically followed by: “I don’t know if I am good enough.”
Have you experienced this? Oh, I certainly have.
What are our actions from this space?
So what do you do when you don’t feel good enough? You most likely:
- Question yourself, which could look like asking other people for their opinion all the time
- Try to prove yourself by taking on responsibilities that others can easily do. You try to do everything (and be everything) yourself.
- Are taken out of your leadership strength and power when something doesn’t go right. Perhaps you unexpectedly get a call from your top customer with complaints, or a family member slings shade your way.
- Freeze, become emotional or feel overwhelmed.
- Feel like a victim in the situation rather than in control of YOU.
See what happens?
When you think you may not be deserving of this position, you BECOME undeserving of the roles and responsibilities you have been given and worked HARD to achieve. It’s POISONOUS.
The antidote
The solution: Never allow yourself to think that thought again. Ever.
It takes work, but trust me, it’s possible.
To start, practice BELIEVING this is YOUR role, you were made for it, and everything you are experiencing now is a growth opportunity—an opportunity to make you stronger. Remember the “above the line” video I shared last week? This is it in practice, my friends.
Because here is what happens. When you BELIEVE “this is exactly where I need to be” or “everything I have done in my life has led me here” (or something similar), you feel empowered, confident, and sure. And from this place of confidence, you remain the leader you were hired to be in the first place.
This has nothing to do with “deserving” anything. That’s a slippery slope. This has everything to do with believing you are exactly where you need to be, right now, as you are. Everything else is a learning opportunity and growth.
Ok. Now, get back in there and lead strong!
Want more?
Does this post resonate with you? Email me or grab a time on my calendar right now if you would like to try a free 1:1 coaching call. We can break this habit once and for all. I get it and I can help.
P.S. I have spots for 6 new clients to round out my VIP Lead Strong coaching practice starting in January. If 2020 is YOUR year, apply for a spot today by sending me an email to set up a call.
